Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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