I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
