I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
