What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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