I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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