Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
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I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
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My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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