On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
