I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I need a beard to bite.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
