So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
