Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
