Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Found your dick twin last night
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
