I got chris browned last night
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
