Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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