living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize