I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
