it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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