I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
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Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
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She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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