I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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