Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
