"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you told grandpa to call you daddy
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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