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Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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