i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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