Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize