I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Randomize
