Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
