You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Is it because I queefed?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
