I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
