hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
