Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
