Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
