Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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