Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Randomize
