Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
