I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
