Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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