I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
