i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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