grandma shit on top of the toilet
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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