i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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