Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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