i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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