As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
