okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
