That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
