yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I need water and some morals
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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