My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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