carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's never too late to be topless.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
