How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
