apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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