do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Congratulations! We have a period
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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