That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
