do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
