you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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