So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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