she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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