I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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