She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
