He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
