you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We need a shit load of segways right now
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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