is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
