the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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