please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
