What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
