I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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