Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
