Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
